Do you ever feel rushed when putting your wallet or purse away after paying for something?

Rushing not to keep people waiting because Lord forbid that would be a social faux pas of mass porportions.

Or would it? 

Can we not be a bit kinder and more patient with people who require extra time?

I know this is just one small example of allowing time to become less important to rush toward and more  important to live in.

The lack of time to do this very simple act of putting my money and wallet away has always annoyed me. In fact, come to think of it, I have watched it happen for generations. I remember as a little girl watching my own mother nervously thumbing her way through her purse and being a victim of the Old Wallet Rush. I remember thinking it was odd it has to be this way, but somehow over time I just learned to accept it.  

Well the dreaded "wallet rush syndrome" reared its ugly face again big time today and I feel compelled to talk about it.

I was picking up a few things at the grocery store. I proceed to pay. While I am closing my wallet and struggling to put it back in my purse., I notice that the elderly lady who was just served ahead of me was also doing the same. The elderly lady noticed me noticing her AND that not only was her turn at the checkout long over, but my turn was expiring as well. She says "sorry". I tell her to take her time and made a joke about ladies purses.

Meanwhile, the cashier serving us proceeds to shove my receipt in my face. My time was now officially expired! 

Literally, the cashier was irritated because neither of us were moving fast enough. She had other people she had to serve. I do not blame her really..... we are all programmed this way. RUSH RUSH RUSH....... like little roboots moving onto the next task, forgetting why we are doing what we are doing in the moment we are doing them.
 
Now, maybe I am getting old or I just don't feel the need to please people and conform to these things anymore, but I didn't take the receipt shoved under my nose. Instead, I decided to go even slower. 

It felt like forever as she held her hand stretched out with my unclaimed receipt in my face. I held my ground. I did not appologize.

When I was finally content that my wallet was safe in my purse, I turned to the lady behind me waiting to pay and I smiled. 

On Jan 30, 2013, I vow to NEVER rush while putting my wallet away again. More importantly, I encourage us all to take our time & be more patient with each other.

Much love ♥,

Tara

The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

 ~ Indigo Girls

My dearest Summertime Girl,

While I am waiting for water to boil for supper, I thought I would write you a hand written letter. I hope when you are older to give you some letters, poems, stories & paintings that are about our adventures together.

I wish I would have started this sooner, but better late than never, they say. By the time you read this letter, I am sure hand written letters will be extinct....a thing of the past. A time when I did not have wrinkles or grey hairs. In fact, they are almost vintage as I write this now and we won't discuss my wrinkles (or "zippies" as you lovingly call them) or my grey hairs..
Computers, cell phones & technology in general is creeping its way into everything we do as a society. Technology is good my lil Summerkins, in many ways .... dont get me wrong.... I mean I might even share this on my BLOG.

But Summer, my hope for you in receiving these letters from me, is that  you will always have something I touched with my real hands. My words flowing from my heart to this pen.......onto this paper.

I want you to know what a thoughtful little girl you are. Over the past 2 days you very excitedly made over 20 Valentine cards. All of them were handmade from stamps and ink and cards, that we picked out together. You were adamant that Amelia had to have the pink ones because that is her favorite colour. Amelia is your favorite little friend in Senior Kindergarten. You both love playing with "My Little Pet Shops".
You sat down and wrote every single classmates names on each card and then after you finished them you asked me to check to make sure you did not leave anyone out. You are thoughtful like that my little angel.

You always tell me it is not nice to hurt other peoples feelings. If I ever slip up and say something rude or inconsiderate, you are the first to explain to me nicely why it is not nice or why it might hurt. Just the other day, I told you to just leave your beloved stuffed animal "Lamby" in the car while you and I went for groceries. I was feeling rushed and did not want you to drop him or forget him anywhere. You quickly pointed out to me, that it was freezing outside and that if we left Lamby in the car, he might get "frozen tears". Well, how could I argue with that? You always have the way to make me understand what you are feeling in your heart.

You were tired from me dragging you around town all day, and had not complained once. So, I put you in the bigger part of the grocery cart to give your little feet a rest. You decided to lay your winter jacket down on the metal cart and put Lamby under your head as a pillow. I smiled and brushed your bangs from your beautiful face. You barely fit into the cart anymore Summer. You are getting so big, but you will always be my baby. I laid my jacket over you to keep you warm. You looked up at me and said "You are the best Momma in the whole world.....I would not want any Momma but you."  You closed your eyes. People passing by us smiled at your comfy little nook and no doubt your beautiful energy. 

You are truly beautiful Summer & I am humbled by you.

Until the next letter.

Love your Momma. xo ♥

I feel you creeping in me.
No real form or shape until you make me .......
Exist.

Breathe,
life into me.
Won't
you?                               

I have no name,
no fame.......
but I don't need that.

What I need .... really truly need,
Is for you to shape me.
Believe in me.
 
For I am....CREATIVITY.

I am the paint that splashes across the canvas.,
Lands in your hair and that rug you keep wanting to rip up.

I am the toxins you accidentally tasted when the labels cautioned you not to.
I am the stains under your fingernails.
 
I am CREATIVITY.

I am that thing that makes you excited when you look at the clouds & the trees.
The thing that makes your heart beat faster,
when others just let that feeling pass.

I am the unknown.
But, I am the trust.
The 5 am shadow that wakes you with thoughts.

I am CREATIVITY.

And I am strong.
Because,

I am
YOU.

CREATIVITY.

Some might say that it is ironic that my 5 year old daughter Summer received a Hello Kitty "Artist" in her Happy Meal today.

BUT ........

I think not! 

She had not asked for that one, but she did tell me later she was wishing the lady would pick that exact toy for her.

The Universe knows ...... HAPPY art vibrations. ♥

Much love,
Tara  

I couldn't paint tonight! (insert sulk face here)

Not due to a lack of desire or inspiration, but due to other pressing priorities.

I literally feel like a fuzzy animal locked in a cage when I can't paint. My jaw hurts from clenching it............my chest hurts from beating it with heartfelt ideas. 

I was desperate or maybe I was getting in touch with my inner cave woman .......... so, I found a pen and drew all over my hand.
LET ME PAINT! ! !

 If I was an animal my stomach would literally ache from biting all the grass around my cage.
 
My passion is growing ....... I can't wait to paint again.    

~ Tara     

A Fond Kiss

A fond kiss, and then we sever;
A farewell, and then forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.
Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae cheerfu' twinkle lights me;
Dark despair around benights me.
I'll ne'er blame my partial fancy,
Nothing could resist my Nancy;
But to see her was to love her;
Love but her, and love forever.
Had we never lov'd say kindly,
Had we never lov'd say blindly,
Never met--or never parted--
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.
Fare thee well, thou first and fairest!
Fare thee well, thou best and dearest!
Thine be like a joy and treasure,
Peace. enjoyment, love, and pleasure!
A fond kiss, and then we sever;
A farewell, alas, forever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee!

Robert Burns

1.       Art is subjective. You can feel what you want. You can think what you want. Nobody has control over those emotions but you.

2.       Art is empowering……it feeds your imagination …  if you let it.

3.       Art changes the landscape of the world. Look around you….soak in the colours that you see. They might not be there tomorrow.

4.       Art has no real geographical boundaries. Sure governments might try to dictate what is permissible or not, but art can find ways of creeping into souls regardless of the dictators restrictions.

5.       Art is good for the HEART. When creating art, your heart likely beats faster or slower, depending on the subject and desire. The same is felt when you view art.

6.       Art can heal. It will take you on a journey through time. Letting go is up to you.

7.       Every piece of art is created with human energy and that energy fuels the human spirit.

8.       Art is flexible.

9.       Art is unique but one thing remains the same…..the desire for CREATION.

10.   Art has its own language…. when you listen, you will understand it…..in your own way.

Much love,

Tara

Heart obsessed I am. Ohhhhhhh YES, let me count thy ways. 

I am pretty sure my obsession of finding hearts or should I say, hearts finding me, has hit an all time high. 

I was on the treadmill doing my speedy little walk.......minding my own business. I was feeling OK on the treadmill because it was -22 degrees outside. That's colder than a witches tit, some would say.

I looked over at a pile of toys on the floor as I sped up. Suddenly, something heart shaped-ish caught my eye. It couldn't be I thought. Not 16 minutes into my pounding the moving belt. Like I need any more distractions to get off of this thing. 

Oh my but it was! ! ! !

I thought I might be hallucinating at my fascination, but it was real. It was a plastic heart shaped message calling my name. An invitation from BARBIE of all people!!!!
 
Yes, that's right......BARBIE likes hearts too, apparently. And her accessory was eagerly awaiting a dive into my Golden molding paste.

I literally had 20 minutes & 30 seconds left before I could ditch these Nike "Free" (my arse) runners & put my new heart shape to use in my new painting.

For the next 20 minutes I fixated over the plan.

First, I would slap the canvas with thick molding paste & then I would press the plastic heart into its  gooey-ness until it imprinted that heart. It was ideal. It was a broken heart shape, with ridges and bumps and all! I could feel the excitment building. :-)

One issue..........
.I just didn't want BARBIE to get all the credit. I didn't want her name to transfer onto the canvas. That Matel logo so deeply embedded in the plastic heart. If I pressed too hard into the paste on my canvas, it would be all over.........she, that bitch would gain the FAME! ! !

I mean BARBIE already has that skinny thing going for her.........she  doesn't really need this too does she? ?
?

Forget that I told myself.
It's not going to be a BARBIE BITCH moment. Her & Britney can go hang out in their plastic castles and discuss their Ken's. Maybe even shave each others hair & french kiss for all I care. Just leave me and my mixed media out of it.

This was my time!

An hour later, my mission was complete. I stood looking at my new mixed media painting. I was beaming,
UNTIL

I heard my daughter coming to see me. 
CRAP, I thought! I just ruined one of her toys without thinking! ! ! ! !

I tensed waiting for her reaction............... the consequence of my heart shaped obsession was about to show its ugly truth.

"Momma, how did you do those hearts?????"
 
I hold up the dirty evidence to show her my truth.
 
"Ohhh, you can keep it Momma........ I dont play with that BARBIE anyway".

Phewwwww.....................

Barbie : BIG FAT ZERO (I stress fat)
Tara : WON! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Hey, if ever they make a pill for this "Obsessive Compulsive Heart Shaped Finding Disorder" then I
hope it's heart shaped. ♥

Much love,

Tara